{"id":803,"date":"2026-07-23T10:37:02","date_gmt":"2026-07-23T10:37:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/?p=803"},"modified":"2026-07-23T10:37:02","modified_gmt":"2026-07-23T10:37:02","slug":"how-to-be-a-good-roomie-regardless-of-where-you-are-in-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/?p=803","title":{"rendered":"How to be a good roomie \u2014 regardless of where you are in life"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n
\n
\n
\n

Chances are good you live with another person. Over half of American adults cohabitate with their spouse or significant other. Older adults are increasingly living with roommates. Multigenerational households have more than quadrupled over the last decade. And about a third of adults under 35 live with a parent.<\/p>\n

Read more The AI that went rogue<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

If you\u2019ve found yourself living communally at one point or another, you know that sharing space comes with its quirks and potential headaches. Who gets to use the only bathroom first in the morning? Who\u2019s responsible for taking out the trash? Do you actually need to be friends with your roommates?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Being a better roommate or family member isn\u2019t just about minimizing daily annoyance \u2014 it\u2019s about transforming your relationships and overall well-being. According to the 2025 World Happiness Report, a household of about four members is predictive of higher happiness levels and better relationships. Older adults who cohabitate are more satisfied living with others, and have higher well-being and happiness than those who live alone, research suggests.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Whether you live with a romantic partner, roommates, parents, grandparents, or other family members, experts (including therapists, authors, friendship experts, and researchers) \u2014 who have firsthand experience of their own \u2014 have concrete tips for how to communicate, declutter, and split finances with the people you share space with.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Responses have been edited and condensed for clarity.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

Communicate, communicate, communicate<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n

\u201cI will live and die on the hill of communication being the most important aspect of successfully living with other adults. That comes from my experience living with my parents in adulthood, and from working on my anthology about communal living and interdependence. If good communication can ultimately lead to progress, any challenges that come up around logistics, habits, preferences \u2014 the things people tend to think are most important to consider when sharing space with others \u2014 can be addressed. Understanding that living with other adults doesn\u2019t require perfect compatibility, but rather a shared willingness to work at it, opens up so many doors.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

\u2014Samantha Paige Rosen, editor of Living, Together: Reimagining Community in the Age of Disconnection<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

Accept everyone\u2019s unique (and probably wrong) ways of doing chores<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n

\u201cHow someone loads the dishwasher is the biggest differing personalities button-pusher ever. Know this. And accept it.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

\u2014Lauren Palmer Jansen, communications coordinator for L\u2019Arche GWDC, a community where people with and without intellectual disabilities live and work together<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

Get regular meetings on the calendar<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n

\u201cI always recommend having a designated time \u2014 weekly, monthly \u2014 for house meetings. It feels odd initially because we believe that everything with friends should happen organically. But when you\u2019re sharing something as sacred as a home, you have to be aligned on what creates a safe and joyful experience. This also helps with any anxiety you might feel about bringing up hard topics, like washing the dishes or inviting guests over, because you have the security of knowing that there\u2019s dedicated time to check in.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

\u2014Danielle Bayard Jackson, friendship educator and author of Fighting For Our Friendships: The Science and Art of Conflict and Connection in Women\u2019s Relationships<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

Mark your territory<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n

\u201cIn a shared home, peace isn\u2019t about square footage, but it\u2019s often helped by each person having one space that\u2019s truly their own. That single boundary, like a door you can close, is often what makes the togetherness feel like a choice you\u2019re happy to continue making.\u201d<\/p>\n

Read more Why some Dems are standing by Israel<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

\u2014Juli Ford, multigenerational living expert and founder of Home After 50<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

Discuss decluttering<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n

\u201cClutter is a common household stressor, and our research suggests one reason why is that people living together buy things independently but hesitate to get rid of things independently, often over-involving each other in disposal decisions. Our proposed fix: Set disposal rules up front, the same way you might set buying rules. Let each person freely toss items only they use, or create a \u2018staging area\u2019 where items sit briefly before leaving the house. People can weigh in if they want, without letting clutter linger indefinitely.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

\u2014Peggy Liu, professor of marketing at the University of Pittsburgh School of Business, and Theresa Kwon, assistant professor of marketing at the University of Hong Kong Business School<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

Agree to the \u201cuncomfortable rule\u201d<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n

\u201cRoommates who want to get along will find a way to get along. The second you stop wanting to get along, the dynamics shift. Agree to the uncomfortable rule. The uncomfortable rule says that if anyone is uncomfortable, you all agree to talk about the problem and listen. This way no one needs to hide the truth when uncomfortable situations come up. This also makes it easier to have conversations instead of confrontations.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

\u2014Harlan Cohen, author of Win or Learn: The Naked Truth About Turning Every Rejection Into Your Ultimate Success<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

Divide chores equitably, not equally<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n

\u201cDon\u2019t divide housework equally, divide it explicitly and equitably. In an intergenerational home, people have different amounts of time, energy, and physical capacity, so the goal isn\u2019t identical workloads but a shared agreement everyone considers fair. Use a shared system to make the work visible. Track what gets done and by whom, then check in regularly before invisible labor turns into resentment.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

\u2014Peter Askj\u00e6r Drejer, founder of Tody, a chore managing app<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

Get clear about money up front<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n

\u201cFrom a financial therapist perspective, one of the biggest sources of conflict in shared living situations is the meaning people attach to money, fairness, and responsibility. Talk about expectations from the very beginning. You want to reduce the possibility of resentment forming, which can often happen if there were no conversations early on discussing what is or is not acceptable behavior and what is expected of everyone within the shared space. Most often people will wait until they\u2019re already frustrated to discuss sharing finances or household responsibilities. But it is highly unproductive to engage in a conversation when it starts emotionally charged. Instead, schedule regular check-in conversations where you discuss not only who pays for what, but also whether the current arrangement still feels fair.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

\u2014Kiki Jacobson, licensed mental health counselor specializing in financial therapy<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

Find the good in tough situations<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n

\u201cMy best advice is to see good intentions everywhere, even if you\u2019re experiencing bad outcomes. For the most part, no one wants to be a bad roommate, so if someone is acting in a way that\u2019s driving you insane, you want to approach the situation as if both of you want to fix the situation. Offer help rather than accusations. And, importantly, sometimes you can help teach others how to show up to a conversation by modeling good behavior. Sometimes people just don\u2019t know how to have a mature, helpful conversation because they\u2019ve never done it before. Staying regulated goes a long way.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

\u2014Katie Rose, licensed clinical social worker<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

Don\u2019t compromise, get creative<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n

\u201cEvery recurring argument is an invitation to redesign the system rather than blame the person. Stop asking who\u2019s right and start asking, How could we make this easier?<\/em> The happiest households aren\u2019t conflict-free \u2014 they\u2019re creative. They develop rhythms, rituals, and agreements that work for the people actually living there rather than trying to squeeze themselves into someone else\u2019s idea of how a household should function. One person cooks while the other cleans. Mornings become a quiet zone. Everyone gets an hour alone before reconnecting. Creativity is often a far better relationship skill than compromise.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

\u2014Jane Garnett, licensed marriage and family therapist<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

Invest in a white noise machine<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n

\u201cGet an industrial strength white noise-maker. The app on your phone won\u2019t cut it. It needs to be the kind you find in therapy offices so you can drown out at least some of the annoying sounds around you. Keep it on all day, not just for sleeping. Buy two if needed.\u201d<\/p>\n

Read more Trump is stocking the government with his personal lawyers<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

\u2014Mary McLaughlin, licensed clinical social worker<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

See More:<\/span><\/p>\n
    \n
  • Advice<\/li>\n
  • Even Better<\/li>\n
  • Family<\/li>\n
  • Life<\/li>\n
  • Relationships<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Expert advice on how to live with other people.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":802,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-803","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-interesting"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to be a good roomie \u2014 regardless of where you are in life - American Living Report<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/?p=803\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to be a good roomie \u2014 regardless of where you are in life - American Living Report\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Expert advice on how to live with other people.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/?p=803\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"American Living Report\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-07-23T10:37:02+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"7 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/americanlivingreport.com\\\/?p=803#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/americanlivingreport.com\\\/?p=803\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/americanlivingreport.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/7b970e3bc484fe2e26860a4380d70de8\"},\"headline\":\"How to be a good roomie \u2014 regardless of where you are in life\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-07-23T10:37:02+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/americanlivingreport.com\\\/?p=803\"},\"wordCount\":1351,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/americanlivingreport.com\\\/?p=803#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/americanlivingreport.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/d0210041ba72fd511427eb7312beb738.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Interesting\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/americanlivingreport.com\\\/?p=803#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/americanlivingreport.com\\\/?p=803\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/americanlivingreport.com\\\/?p=803\",\"name\":\"How to be a good roomie \u2014 regardless of where you are in life - American Living Report\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/americanlivingreport.com\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/americanlivingreport.com\\\/?p=803#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/americanlivingreport.com\\\/?p=803#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/americanlivingreport.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/d0210041ba72fd511427eb7312beb738.webp\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-07-23T10:37:02+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/americanlivingreport.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/7b970e3bc484fe2e26860a4380d70de8\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/americanlivingreport.com\\\/?p=803#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/americanlivingreport.com\\\/?p=803\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/americanlivingreport.com\\\/?p=803#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/americanlivingreport.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/d0210041ba72fd511427eb7312beb738.webp\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/americanlivingreport.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/d0210041ba72fd511427eb7312beb738.webp\",\"width\":1200,\"height\":627},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/americanlivingreport.com\\\/?p=803#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/americanlivingreport.com\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"How to be a good roomie \u2014 regardless of where you are in life\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/americanlivingreport.com\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/americanlivingreport.com\\\/\",\"name\":\"American Living Report\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/americanlivingreport.com\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/americanlivingreport.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/7b970e3bc484fe2e26860a4380d70de8\",\"name\":\"admin\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"admin\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/americanlivingreport.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/americanlivingreport.com\\\/?author=1\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"How to be a good roomie \u2014 regardless of where you are in life - American Living Report","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/?p=803","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"How to be a good roomie \u2014 regardless of where you are in life - American Living Report","og_description":"Expert advice on how to live with other people.","og_url":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/?p=803","og_site_name":"American Living Report","article_published_time":"2026-07-23T10:37:02+00:00","author":"admin","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"admin","Est. reading time":"7 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/?p=803#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/?p=803"},"author":{"name":"admin","@id":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/#\/schema\/person\/7b970e3bc484fe2e26860a4380d70de8"},"headline":"How to be a good roomie \u2014 regardless of where you are in life","datePublished":"2026-07-23T10:37:02+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/?p=803"},"wordCount":1351,"commentCount":0,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/?p=803#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/d0210041ba72fd511427eb7312beb738.webp","articleSection":["Interesting"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/?p=803#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/?p=803","url":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/?p=803","name":"How to be a good roomie \u2014 regardless of where you are in life - American Living Report","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/?p=803#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/?p=803#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/d0210041ba72fd511427eb7312beb738.webp","datePublished":"2026-07-23T10:37:02+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/#\/schema\/person\/7b970e3bc484fe2e26860a4380d70de8"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/?p=803#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/?p=803"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/?p=803#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/d0210041ba72fd511427eb7312beb738.webp","contentUrl":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/d0210041ba72fd511427eb7312beb738.webp","width":1200,"height":627},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/?p=803#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"How to be a good roomie \u2014 regardless of where you are in life"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/","name":"American Living Report","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/#\/schema\/person\/7b970e3bc484fe2e26860a4380d70de8","name":"admin","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"admin"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/americanlivingreport.com"],"url":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/?author=1"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/803","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=803"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/803\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/802"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=803"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=803"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=803"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}