{"id":759,"date":"2026-07-19T12:06:11","date_gmt":"2026-07-19T12:06:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/?p=759"},"modified":"2026-07-19T12:06:11","modified_gmt":"2026-07-19T12:06:11","slug":"how-to-slow-down-time-when-life-keeps-speeding-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/americanlivingreport.com\/?p=759","title":{"rendered":"How to slow down time when life keeps speeding up"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Hi readers! Shayla Love here, science journalist and longtime fan of Your Mileage May Vary. I\u2019m honored to be subbing for Sigal Samuel while she\u2019s out on parental leave. I\u2019m diving into your questions as a way to help understand human nature and our choices through multiple lenses: philosophical, psychological, and beyond. Please send in any emotional, body\/brain, sociological, perceptual, or other kind of life quandaries you might have.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more Hollywood\u2019s outsize influence on baby names<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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My conundrum is common, I guess. I feel time accelerating as I grow older. I am expecting my second child, and as the days tick down until I meet her, I feel time catching up with me (I\u2019m in my 40s). I want to savor every day, but they go by so fast. I know that novelty is a partial solution to this, so I do lots of new things. I take up hobbies, go to new places, etc. But I still feel an encroaching contraction of experience and memory, and I\u2019m afraid my remaining decades will go by in a blur. I want to prepare to be as present as I possibly can to the new human I\u2019ll work to raise. <\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Do you have advice on slowing down time, or wisdom on how to dilate and cherish the moment I\u2019m in? I\u2019ve tried \u201cmindfulness\u201d and various meditation practices. These haven\u2019t caught hold yet, though I\u2019ll keep trying. Daily journaling and getting away from social media seem to help, but the days still fly by.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Dear Time Traveler,<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Do you remember how long time felt when you were a child? I certainly do. I remember summer break stretching out endlessly; a whole eternity captured in one hot July afternoon. It\u2019s no wonder that we respond with panic as we get older and weeks snap by so fast no matter what we\u2019re doing \u2014 vacation, working, or as you are, growing a family.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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There are two ways to think about time: the way it feels when you\u2019re living it, which is called \u201cprospective time.\u201d And then how you remember time, known as \u201cretrospective time.\u201d It sounds like you\u2019re struggling with both. You want moments to feel longer as they\u2019re happening, and<\/em> to look back and feel like time didn\u2019t just slip through your fingers.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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What\u2019s interesting about our perception of time is that there\u2019s no specific organ dedicated to sensing time. Our eyes see, and our noses smell, but feeling time is a vaguer sense, cobbled together by the combination of various inputs. It is also more easily manipulated.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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I took a close look at the work of David Eagleman, who is a neuroscientist at Stanford University and has studied what makes time feel slower or faster. On a basic level, you\u2019re right, novelty does make time expand. When researchers show people a series of the same images over and over, a new picture thrown into the mix feels as though that new image is presented for longer \u2014 even if it\u2019s not. He\u2019s argued that this is one of the reasons why childhood feels so long. So much of what you experience is new when you\u2019re younger. Then we create habits and routines, and time starts to accelerate. If you have the same commute each day, it\u2019s easy for it to feel so familiar that parts of it may not even register in your memory on any given day.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Extreme emotions can elongate time too. In one of Eagleman\u2019s more daring experiments, he asked people to free fall from 15 stories<\/em> above the ground (they fell into a net). When the people were asked later to try to recreate how long the fall was by estimating it on a stopwatch, they overestimated the duration by about a third. He also had them wear a device on their wrists that rapidly flashed images and numbers while they fell. If their other senses had also slowed during their fall, like Neo in The Matrix<\/em>, they should have been able to see some of the images flashing before them. They didn\u2019t. The sensation that time slowed down didn\u2019t mean much practically, it was simply a feeling.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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When time appears to slow, it is perhaps more helpfully explained by how our memory works. Doing something scary or dangerous activates the amygdala, which tells the rest of the brain to pay attention to what\u2019s going on, to remember more of the details later, which makes time seem to stretch out. Swiss geologist Albert Heim once interviewed people who fell while mountain-climbing. He found that while people were plummeting to what they thought was a certain death, time also expanded. When a race-car driver was launched 30 feet into the air after a crash, he told researchers at the University of Iowa that \u201cIt seemed like the whole thing took forever. Everything was in slow motion.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Some access this feature of our minds when they take up bungee jumping or skydiving. Or, like you, tamer new experiences that the brain takes its time registering more details of. Other people have turned to drugs like hashish or LSD, which can make minutes or hours feel like whole days.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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But the real issue comes down to a question of how you want to be spending that very time you feel passing you by. Is it obsessing over optimizing for activities that promise maximum time stretchage? I think that might degrade your experience of the life you have in front of you.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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As you note yourself, adding novelty for the sake of novelty doesn\u2019t seem to be helping your life feel more time-rich. In fact, it sounds like you\u2019re ending up with \u201ctime urgency,\u201d or trying to achieve as much as possible in as short of a period of time as possible. Being anxious, burnt out, and can, in some cases, make time feel more sped up. This is because you don\u2019t have the bandwidth to pay attention and build detailed memories around what you\u2019re doing.<\/p>\n

Read more Welcome to America\u2019s post-World Cup hangover<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Plus, constructing days where time always feels slow means never getting caught up with friends or children, or being engrossed in a well-loved hobby, where you look up at the clock and discover hours have passed in what felt like no time at all. There\u2019s something bittersweet about that, but something to relish too. In fact, there is useful wisdom in acknowledging the difficult fact that as we get older, our time is<\/em> running out.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Many ancient philosophies advise to remind yourself of death in order to focus on the importance of life. In Stoicism, this is called memento mori<\/em>, or remembering that you will die. I slightly prefer Buddhism\u2019s Five Remembrances, which are mantras about accepting that change is inevitable and it\u2019s our destiny to grow older. There\u2019s nothing like having children to make you confront that reality. \u201cI am of the nature to grow old, I cannot escape old age,\u201d is the first remembrance. We might add onto it: \u201cAnd I cannot escape the passage of time.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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If you give up trying to slow down time to a halt, it doesn\u2019t mean you can\u2019t find some more spacious ways to live in the time you do have left. Meditation is often pulled off the shelf as a trick for paying more attention, but rather than sitting with your eyes closed and listening to your breathing, I suspect a more quotidian mindfulness would help you.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Th\u00edch Nh\u1ea5t H\u1ea1nh, the Vietnamese Thi\u1ec1n Buddhist monk, about taking back the time spent on everyday life through being mindful when doing the stuff that we tend to rush through.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Nh\u1ea5t H\u1ea1nh reminds us that these things are also our life. When we wash dishes, for example, we might find ourselves thinking only about our list of what we\u2019re going to do next. Then, \u201cwe are not alive during the time we are washing the dishes,\u201d he wrote. Instead, \u201cwe are sucked away into the future \u2014 and we are incapable of actually living one minute of life.\u201d Rather than adding another new class or going on another trip, try making parts of your routine life new again. When doing the dishes, Nh\u1ea5t H\u1ea1nh suggested putting the future out of mind, and focusing on the sensations of washing, of each cup and each plate. He also recommended reserving one day per week to do as little as possible, called a lazy day.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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These days are actually hard work because it can be difficult to do nothing, but within them something else opens up and expands time: boredom. (Remember those endless summer days as a kid? For me, at least, boredom certainly was a common tune in making that time \u2014 for better or worse \u2014 feel so long.)<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Several years ago I heard about a productivity expert named Chris Bailey who created a \u201cmonth of boredom,\u201d where he spent an hour each day doing the most boring thing he could think of: staring at the ceiling or watching his turtle swim back and forth in her tank. He found that creating gaps in the day with dull activities sometimes led to creative mind-wandering and the feeling that time was indeed ticking by more slowly than if his day was filled to the brim.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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I\u2019m not always capable of carving out time to actually watch grass grow as Bailey did or of achieving the serene state while doing the dishes that Nh\u1ea5t H\u1ea1nh described. But I do try to force myself to be bored in micro-moments throughout my day and pay closer attention when I\u2019m doing routine things, like walking to the train, or doing chores. This practice makes me more aware of how<\/em> I\u2019m spending my time, and occasionally even makes that time feel a little more expansive.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Bonus: What I\u2019m reading<\/strong><\/h2>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Last week I read A Month In the Country<\/em>, a lovely summer novel, which I realized is all about being in one place and letting time do what it will.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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What if we didn\u2019t have a way to calculate the passage of time at all? I highly recommend reading the first section of the historian Daniel Boorstin\u2019s masterful classic book, The Discoverers<\/em>. It\u2019s all about how time was measured from early human civilizations to now. \u201cThe first grand discovery was time, the landscape of experience,\u201d Boorstin writes.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Since I\u2019ve become interested in the Luddites, as well as craving more time for tasks that require working with my hands (woodworking, gardening, lock picking, you name it), I have worried that I\u2019m idealizing manual labor \u2014 hard activities that used to consume all of people\u2019s time. This essay by the philosopher Joshua Habgood-Coote in Aeon explores this idea, which he calls \u201cskill nostalgia.\u201d We shouldn\u2019t take the romanticizing too far, but Habgood-Coote writes that there\u2019s reason to yearn for skills that we were never taught.<\/p>\n

Read more The most important thing about the big new federal housing law<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

See More:<\/span><\/p>\n
    \n
  • Advice<\/li>\n
  • Future Perfect<\/li>\n
  • Life<\/li>\n
  • Parenting<\/li>\n
  • Your Mileage May Vary<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Skydiving or watching the grass grow? 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